The List

You know how couples have that list, right? Of people you can sleep with because there's no chance in hell it will ever work out that you'll be alone in a room with Stanley Tucci, say, or Lior Ashkenazi.

MIKE: So, who's on your list?

ZACH: I don't know. These games are kinda, you know, gay.

MIKE: Whatever. Who would you sleep with.

ZACH: Alive or dead?

MIKE: Sure.

ZACH: Jake Gyllenhaal.

MIKE: Seriously?

ZACH: Yeah. He's hot.

MIKE: That's, like, the least imaginative answer ever.

ZACH: Did you start this game just so you could berate me for my choices?

MIKE: I bet even the Reverend Fred Phelps wants to sleep with Jake Gyllenhaal.

ZACH: So who's on your list?

MIKE: What?

ZACH: Your list? Who's on it?

MIKE: Oh. You know. People.

ZACH: Okay. Which people?

MIKE: [mumble]

ZACH: I didn't get that?

MIKE: The Pre[mumble] of Ir[mumble].

ZACH: The who?

MIKE: The Pres--

ZACH: The President of Iran?

MIKE: He's kinda ho--

ZACH: No. No, the President of Iran is not kinda hot. What the hell's wrong with you?

MIKE: I have a thing for angry Persian mayors-cum-wackjobs.

ZACH: At least my unattainable crush hasn't called for the total extermination of the Jews.

MIKE: Yet, my love. Yet.