Demonic Possession
It's a truth universally acknowledged that office holiday lunches suck. Even if you're lucky enough to work in an office setting where you might enjoy some, or even most, of your co-workers -- still: it's awkward. There's the noise, and the food can be an issue, and then what if you end up sitting next to that one guy who quietly belches all the time? I'd rather be given a gift certificate or better yet, just more cash. I'll treat myself to food somewhere else, and I'll think nice thoughts about my boss while I'm eating.
This year, I sat next to [redacted]? And [redacted]? Talks with one of those annoying uplilts? At the end of each sentence? So that everything? Sounds like a question? Granted, he's only something like 22, maybe, or 23. And I guess I'm making excuses for him because he's really an okay guy; it's just, my ears bleed any time we have a conversation.
Oh, and [redacted]? Thinks he may have almost been possessed by the devil.
Yeah, I know. It came out of left field for me, too. One minute, we're having bland lunch time talk -- words come out of your mouth that mean nothing, but have something vaguely to do with the only thing yuo really have in common with your co-workers: work -- and then he launches into this story (punctuated? by those uplilts?) about how one night he woke up, couldn't move, and then saw a shadow go by his bed that dissipated when he began to pray.
I don't believe in demonic possession. I don't believe in demons or devils or The Devil -- and I'm not so clear on the whole God thing either. The only thing I could think about after seeing The Exorcist was that I expect more from Evil than a girl who pees on the rug and masturbates with a crucifix. And like I've mentioned before, I just don't see why Evil has to make things so complicated on itself. This one soul at a time business just doesn't make sense.
But [redacted]'s convinced. "I mean, I know? It sounds crazy? But I was there. And I know what happened? To me? And it was some freaky shit, man." I don't want to be his killjoy. I don't want to play Dr. Science to his spook story. But I also don't want to be put in a position where my silence somehow implies tacit approval. Because while I believe he may have experienced some sleep paralysis, and that he may have had a terrifying experience that way, and that the emotions were certainly palpable: I just don't believe in demonic possession.
And dude: the fuck kind of Christmas Lunch conversation is that anyway?
This year, I sat next to [redacted]? And [redacted]? Talks with one of those annoying uplilts? At the end of each sentence? So that everything? Sounds like a question? Granted, he's only something like 22, maybe, or 23. And I guess I'm making excuses for him because he's really an okay guy; it's just, my ears bleed any time we have a conversation.
Oh, and [redacted]? Thinks he may have almost been possessed by the devil.
Yeah, I know. It came out of left field for me, too. One minute, we're having bland lunch time talk -- words come out of your mouth that mean nothing, but have something vaguely to do with the only thing yuo really have in common with your co-workers: work -- and then he launches into this story (punctuated? by those uplilts?) about how one night he woke up, couldn't move, and then saw a shadow go by his bed that dissipated when he began to pray.
I don't believe in demonic possession. I don't believe in demons or devils or The Devil -- and I'm not so clear on the whole God thing either. The only thing I could think about after seeing The Exorcist was that I expect more from Evil than a girl who pees on the rug and masturbates with a crucifix. And like I've mentioned before, I just don't see why Evil has to make things so complicated on itself. This one soul at a time business just doesn't make sense.
But [redacted]'s convinced. "I mean, I know? It sounds crazy? But I was there. And I know what happened? To me? And it was some freaky shit, man." I don't want to be his killjoy. I don't want to play Dr. Science to his spook story. But I also don't want to be put in a position where my silence somehow implies tacit approval. Because while I believe he may have experienced some sleep paralysis, and that he may have had a terrifying experience that way, and that the emotions were certainly palpable: I just don't believe in demonic possession.
And dude: the fuck kind of Christmas Lunch conversation is that anyway?
posted by Mike at 4:17 PM
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