Review: Memoirs of a Geisha
Guys: like, she remembers a lot. And there's a geisha named Pumpkin.
It's beautiful to look at, this film; and that went a long way towards me not hating it necessarily. But mostly it's just really ridiculous, and for a long movie, the ending came much too fast without really resolving anything. She's a geisha, she's not, she's a geisha again, she gets caught having sex with some guy, and then she ends up with Ken Watanabe, who seems to be Japan's version of Mr. Big. Only maybe she didn't. It was tough to tell.
There's a huge dance number involving the world's craziest platform shoes and either snow or cherry blossoms. That's not important. What is important is that that scene was a chair, a bucket of water, and a welder's mask away from being truly awesome.
Now, the geisha named Pumpkin is awesome, but only when she's dressed like a 1940's tart, and I think maybe she isn't really a geisha. Like, she was going to be one, but then something happened. What? I don't know; the movie was difficult to follow, mostly because I kept replaying the dance scene with the platform shoes over in my head. How was she able to breathe with all that stuff flying in the air? And I didn't see a lot of dancing so much as she seemed to be artfully falling a lot. It's probably those shoes.
Dudes, I totally need a better movie. Like, soon.
It's beautiful to look at, this film; and that went a long way towards me not hating it necessarily. But mostly it's just really ridiculous, and for a long movie, the ending came much too fast without really resolving anything. She's a geisha, she's not, she's a geisha again, she gets caught having sex with some guy, and then she ends up with Ken Watanabe, who seems to be Japan's version of Mr. Big. Only maybe she didn't. It was tough to tell.
There's a huge dance number involving the world's craziest platform shoes and either snow or cherry blossoms. That's not important. What is important is that that scene was a chair, a bucket of water, and a welder's mask away from being truly awesome.
Now, the geisha named Pumpkin is awesome, but only when she's dressed like a 1940's tart, and I think maybe she isn't really a geisha. Like, she was going to be one, but then something happened. What? I don't know; the movie was difficult to follow, mostly because I kept replaying the dance scene with the platform shoes over in my head. How was she able to breathe with all that stuff flying in the air? And I didn't see a lot of dancing so much as she seemed to be artfully falling a lot. It's probably those shoes.
Dudes, I totally need a better movie. Like, soon.
posted by Mike at 9:47 PM
4 Comments:
I haven't seen a good movie in forever. I really just came to tell you that I am SO SAD that I am just a "read" and not a "bookish" site-- I guess all the haters are right!
I went to your blog to apologize and noticed that...wait for it...I'm not even on your links list at all.
Talk about haters.
Apology and a change in status forthcoming: you know what to do.
I was not a big fan of this movie, either. Why didn't Mr. Watanabe even have a name? He was just The Chairman. And you couldn't even tell that he liked her all that much, meanwhile she's in love with him for decades because he gave her some flavored ice. whoop-dee-do. she's so easy. no wonder she's a geisha.
And up until Nobu went all jealousy on the geisha's ass, I thought he was a perfectly fine choice (no offense to Mr. Watanabe). He's wealthy. He's good during a bombing. And yeah, he's got that scar-thing on his face; but that just means I'm the good looking one.
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